Last night I was in an amazing place of strength in my spirit. Call it stubborn Russian character, or call it exhaustion to react to the challenges of life. Quietly it is an internal work even I cannot understand in myself. For the entire existence on the earth I have panicked, spent huge amounts of energy striving, challenging, attempting to make a way or fix the problem. Not this time. Hopefully not again ever.
With 2014 I committed to a daily blog of a name or title of God. Comforter, deliverer, redeemer, the beginning. Yes, spent a good deal of time focusing on these unchangable qualities of God. And then I sensed a question. Nothing audible, but clear on my thoughts, and demanding in answer. “Do you trust me? Do you believe what you have been writing? Well, do you?”
Do I trust the same God that ordered the universe to order our very lives? Am I willing to trust his character, believe he does not change, and he loves me? Oh you bet your boots. Absolute trust, absolute willingness to yield to his plan.
Is my life still totally impossible and shattered from our financial/unemployment oddest? You bet your boots. 3 years of extremely low income, unemployment and the challenges of keeping ahead of the wolf remind me He has met our every need. Our utilities remained on, our house was saved,and everything else was gone. But we always had food, gas for the car, money for bills and a peace we would make it through.
So what changed? A car died. Our only car. So how big is my god? How possible is it that he has an answer but just wishes us to ask, believe, trust.
The difference this round is that our God is holding us through our new trial. He has answers that we don’t understand.
So today I will answer that question with “yes, I will trust you. I relinquish the striving. You will come through.”
There is a Jamie Grace song “Beautiful” that was playing on my headphones when the text message came in..
On the way to work – car died
Car wont turn over
roadside assistance here now
roadside left, waiting tow truck
towed to garage, waiting on the mechanic
head gasket blown, oil and radiator fluid everywhere – too costly to repair
Words fell like bullets into my gut. And yet the song continued to play and the lyrics jumped into my consciousness:
When trouble seems to rain on my dreams
It’s not a big, not a big deal
Let it wash all the bugs off my windshield
Cause You’re showing me in You I’m free
And You’re still the refuge
That I’ve just got to get to
So I won’t let a day go, won’t let a day go by
So put the drop top down, turn it up,
I’m ready to fly. - Beautiful, Jamie Grace
By faith i will not focus on the trauma of the loss of our only vehicle. By faith i will let this rain storm wash all the bugs off my windshield, and trust this is working toward a greater goal.
Its strange to say I have a deep peace in this decision. I will trust God for the provision of a vehicle, which will be functional, and which we can afford. He has provided our every need in the past, and he changes not… so
“Lord, this is your strength. You own the cattle on a thousand hills, and your wealth is beyond what we might understand. You have told us that you are our loving father, and that if a child would ask his father for a fish would he give a snake instead (no, absolutely not), or would he give a stone for bread. No, you are good, and even before we were aware of the need you knew. You hold everything in your control. Please lead us and guide us to the vehicle you wish us to find, and provide the means to purchase it. Today, unwaveringly i will trust you for this. You are indeed worthy to be trusted, and i thank you now in advance knowing that an answer is at hand. Amen”
wow, the louvre is in abu dabi
Originally posted on the CITIZENS of FASHION:
Now it’s official : the Louvre Abu Dhabi will be open for visitors December 2, 2015 ! The date was announced this week by the Minister of Culture of France Aurélie Filippetti at the opening Abu Dhabi Art exhibition, as reported by the newspaper The Art Newspaper.
In the UAE capital Filippetti flew together with the director of the Louvre Jean-Luc Martinez and not less than 11 directors of French museums . The contract was signed with the Louvre for the next 30 years: it includes the use of the original title and the opportunity to supply the world’s masterpieces of art in the museum. Martinez assured that Abu Dhabi has already selected 300 works of art . Filippetti , in turn, noted that the new Louvre will focus on the culture of the UAE (unsurprisingly ) and the work of artists of the XXI…
View original 223 more words
“She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish with Eve. She is the Master’s finishing touch.”
― John Eldredge, Captivating
How often have we thought of women as the second class, made from parts of a man, the afterthought. Boy were we dead wrong on that one… we were the final crowning touch of his creation…. not an afterthought but the perfection and completion of all that was good. Can you wrap your brain around that?
“A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal.”
― John Eldredge from the book Captivating
We all have been wounded, injured, damaged by someone, or by our own perceptions of life. I totally agree that it is important to acknowledge and grieve the wound before it can be healed. And we all want healing.
a year of adventure, adversity, challenge, struggle, and yes…. blessing too.
i am always the pessimist, choosing to look at the dark, negative and frustrating, but this has been one hard year. It felt literally like we were scratching to make our keep, working on a treadmill, going no further, no advance, no decline… bills got paid, but by god’s grace…
and then the light began to dawn… business exploding, job for hubby… as we approach the end of a long and arduous year i am thankful to have hope for a new and bright 2013 filled with promise and hope. so pray with me… and lets all keep our eyes open for the blessings of the new year.
I yield it to The Lord, and cry out for his leading, his wisdom and his peace.
Originally posted on Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars:
Despite my attempts at being entirely honest and bare in this blog, I do hold back. I assume everybody does, to some extent, even in their most secret of diaries. You see, twenty seven years of life is a lot to fit into just over a year’s worth of writing.
At first, I thought running out of things to say and confessions to admit would happen quite quickly. After all, I haven’t lived for that long; most still seem to consider me a child, barely out of my teens. It seems that even after you grow up and become an adult, there will always be somebody older ready to condescend your problems by mentioning how much more experienced they are. However, thousands of words later, I’m beginning to realise I can’t possibly tell my story in such a short time and, if anything, I’m only just admitting to the tip…
View original 516 more words