Thorns among the Barbs

Thoughts on my journey to heaven

Archive for October 2011

I am tired, i am a child that is scared

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and i am feeling like my options are gone. This search for work is distressing, agonizing, and deeply disappointing. When did we as a society decide that 50 was too old to work? and when did the 20 somethings take over running the world.

and why is god silent?

God, i know that you don;t change, and I know that you stand watching over us, loving us, wooing us, drawing us with cords of love, but why do you allow us to go through such deep valleys>?

I am humbled by life, and i know that I am less than nothing. When I apply for work i get rejections. Oh, they say they love me, but they hire the other person. God, i know you change not. I need you so very desperately. I need to know that you have a plan for my life and this plan is one of hope and good. This valley is hard, i am beaten up, our money is dried up, and my hope is fading. I want to believe but I desperately need you… i desperately need your intervention in our lives.

and i need you to break through the welfare mentality that is besetting our family. I don;t want charity – i want to work. I don;t want special deals for the poor. I want to earn a living and bless others. I am crying to you lord, and my heart is heavy, my soul faints. Please fill our lives with new opportunity. Please change our hearts to see you. My hands are out, begging you as a ragged begger… you a re the wise and holy god that created everything. Come and sooth my fearful childlike soul. The song says you have made a way where there was no way and we are saved. Amen, amen, amen.

Thank you lord forsalvation ,for calling me to your side, for washing me of my sins, and for lifting me from this deep mire of sin. My heart aches for this time we are in, for the rejection we both feel, and we need you to rescue us from rejection. Please lord, we need a miracle. We need you.


Written by Barbara Bloom

October 5, 2011 at 10:50 PM