Thorns among the Barbs

Thoughts on my journey to heaven

Archive for the ‘Unsaved’ Category

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord.

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This week has been a roller coaster of emotions, of God work in our hearts and lives. And out of the depths of my soul I have been crying out to the Lord for his wisdom and clarity to know what I am living through. To see through the fog of emotion and to sense his strong hand of leadership. And it is there. Amen.

If you have been reading my posts you will know that we have been in a challenging place – unemployment, depression and a mother in law with problems that she wants to turn into our problems.

Out of the depths of my soul I have been crying out and begging for clarity on what to do with this life, with this sense of hopeless wandering, loss of income, loss of purpose, and midlife rejection by society. I confess I have been depressed and sluggish with simple things like cleaning the house, or doing laundry. Then it happened, and the Lord’s wisdom flooded my foggy soul. I had christian radio on while I was washing dishes and found myself listening intently to the conversation. The guest was an expert in spiritual warfare. He began talking about how we invite the darkness to have a foothold, and sometimes we do not know what happened to bring this oppression to our lives. And oppression can seem to linger, take hold.

I am all ears…. oppression – yes, i think this 2 year adventure qualifies as somewhat oppressive. The depression has been challenging at best, frustrating and life sucking is more accurate.

He went on to say that as a born again believer we cannot be posessed, but the darkness can follow us, thwart our lives, steer us to the rocks, and make every effort to disable our lives as christians. But “take heed- ultimately God the Father is in control, and he gives us tools to deal with this.” OK, i have heard this before many times.. I am all ears still.

First the most important thing is to define the source of this permission for the darkness to have its way in our lives. – I began thinking – what have i done, seen , read, or surrounded myself with that is dark, and in opposition to the Lord? Many years ago as a young believer I remember addressing this issue – and i did a thorough inventory of my life. List out what might be standing against the Lord Jesus.

Second- confess to the Lord these strongholds. Surrender them to the Lord and ask him to forgive you, and cleanse you from this.

Third – pray and stand against these strongholds. Pray with all belief, resting in the armour of the Lord, knowing that the Lord goes before you to win this battle, and secure this ground for his Glory!

So the inventory began again – and i thought of tv shows that had dark content, and a movie we recently saw that bothered me. In the name of Jesus I confess these as sin, renounce them and stood in the blood of Christ, redeemed and restored as a child of the King Jesus.

The afternoon after I spent time in warfare prayer I got wonderful amazing news that made us both jump for joy. Blessings and a door that only the Lord could open. It was brilliant and wonderful news. We were still thanking the Lord when it happened. The cell phone rang and it was the mother in law. Swooping in to rage against us, accusing us of untruths, and offering only belittling demasculating comments. And there it was… there was the biggest answer. Now we are fairly certain my mother in law is not a believer – although she has tried to pretend this. The timing of her call was incredible – and it was within minutes of good news. And her words were so hurtful, so cutting, like sharp knives stabbing us.

I watched my husband’s face, and realized how deeply painful these calls are to him. They are wounds that try to disable. Honestly they are words that do disable us- because they are words that come from someone who was blessed with the sacred honor of being a mother. Mothers should not kill and destroy with their words.

I had not told him of the radio show, or my prayers… until then.

I dont want him thinking I am calling his mother a demon – but i wanted to try to explain that Satan is using her to try to get to us. Before I could say anything he told me almost exactly those words.

So I suggested the inventory and prayer process.
As we began the inventory a pattern emerged. All of this stress and disturbance began when she came to live with us 2 years ago. During the time she lived with us this spiritual problem unveiled itself several times. Once when she and I got into an argument she acted oddly for a week, wearing those sunglasses the eye doctor gives after an exam both day and night so I could not see her eyes. Then she told me she had extensive counseling for a multiple personality disorder. I remember being gripped with the thought “Lord, what have we brought into this house. protect us.” No, it was not scenes from a scary movie, but it was irratic and disturbing behavior. At the time we were both stressed and trying to make the best of life. But her comments stayed with us both. Christians cannot have multiple personalities… they can be schizophrenic, or bi-polar, or have other mental illnesses, but this “multiple-personality” thing was just oddly not settling to my understanding of God’s Word.

Then we started tracking when her calls came, and realized that they were always on the heels of a victory, or quickly after the Lord had shown us his hope, his peace, his Glory.

We took our concerns to our prayer and bible study groups and asked them to join us in praying through this until there is a victory. The victory is already won by King Jesus.

Here is the audio link to this show:
http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_ProgramDetail.aspx?id=66132

“King Jesus, the Mighty One, You are the one that called me from the darkness, washed me in your blood. I come to you now, confession every time when I have aligned my heart with something dark. In the name of Jesus I confess my hostility toward my mother in law. In the name of Jesus I ask that the darkeness that we allowed to come into our home through my mother in law is now cancelled, and yielded to the Lord Jesus. By your blood and authority I ask that all forces of darkeness flee from us, from our home, and our minds. In the name of Jesus I claim our home for Jesus, and ask that every square inch of my life, soul and home exist for the glory of Jesus Christ. I now rededicate my life to Jesus, and rededicate our home to the Glory and Use of Jesus alone. I thank Jesus for the victory knowing that He holds the authority and power over everything. And I pray for the soul of my mother in law – that the Lord will take hold of her soul, draw her out of the darkness, and that she will come to know salvation and freedom from oppression and posession. In the Glorious name of Our Great God I pray. Amen”

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Written by Barbara Bloom

February 3, 2012 at 4:52 AM

Life is so fragile

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This morning my coworker was looking at the news on the internet and there was a horrible breaking story about a man wielding an ax at a mens shelter. It is odd that I even noticed his computer screen because I am usually quite absorbed in my morning work. But I thought the news blurb was tragic and horrible, but very inpersonal.

Somewhere early in the afternoon I got a call and learned that the incident had personal rammifications. The victim of the ax attack was the mother of my spouse’s coworker. A mere 59 years old, this woman started her day with the same routine of getting ready, and heading off to work, not knowing that by the middle of that day she would no longer breathe the air of our earth. Her injuries took her to the trauma bay of the hospital where all human efforts fell short and she slipped into eternity.

My heart fell, my soul filled with sadness and anguish that any human could even think to act in such a violent manner, let alone carry this act out. I was speechless. Death of natural causes is challenging enough to our souls and our spirits, but to be ripped from this life through th violent acts of an irrational person is more than I know how to handle.


So I bowed my heart again, asking the god of all comfort to flood the souls of each of the family that remain, and grant them a gentle comforting presence. And I asked God again how I can be there for the family. Oddly, this news overshaddowed my seemingly gigantic financial nightmare. My trial seems so small compared to this rapid and violent act. God forgive me for my self focused time.

I am a believer in part because of a strong witness given at a funeral. My cousin’s sudden and tragic death in a car accident propelled me to step up my search for God, finding him through the widow, and through God’s word so many years ago. Oddly this woman killed tragically bears the name of one of my cousins, the sister of the cousin who was killed many years ago. Lord may you use me to speak peace to the family. May you flood their souls with your light, with your grace, with your salvation. May you peak their search for answers with finding you. GRant that this horrific death may not cause them to be bitter, but that they can seek you and your hand in this time. Grant that you might bring them your grace and your salvation. May they sense you in this tragic time. Amen.

Written by Barbara Bloom

February 11, 2010 at 12:04 AM

Is God pursuing you, or are you pursuing God?

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There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.  – Romans 3:11

The bible reinforces the idea that left to our own devices we will not seek after God, or good.   Bue I never really comprehended how much God pursued Abram until this reading of Genesis, when there are eight (8) documented instances of God pursuing Abram.  

For years I have ruminated the thought that even the ability to read God’s word or to understand any of his word is not my own, but a gift of God, drawing  me.

I have to tell you that I began this post in January and have held this as a pending post because I quietly hoped something would change.  You see, I have a sister in law who’s alcoholic tendencies have moved from the casual beer drinker to a serious addiction that has taken its toll on her health and the overall well being of her family.  She still works full time, and has a wonderful job, but after work and the hours leading up to returning to work are filled with her picking her liver in alcohol. 

She can;t see that she despirately needs to know the unfailing love of a benevolent God, and she doesn;t know that He alone can meet her needs for emotional, social, physical, spiritual…. etc.     We were out to visit her on easter weekend and it couldn;t have been a more stark contrast – this is the day we recognize the wonder of our redemption, the hope of all mankind, and she toast to it swilling down an endless array of beer and alcohol. 

In my days before christ I would have done the same, so I am not knocking what she is, but the real issue is that my heart cries for her to find hope, to find redemption, to be cradled in the love that God alone can provide.  I want her to know the peace I found.  And she is operating outside of the love and protection of faith.  My heart cries for her.

Everything in me cries to you, Lord God, Holy One.  Thank you for the endless mercy and grace you have bestowed on me.  You alone are the one who turns our head, turns our gaze to you.  You alone call us out of darkness and into that marvelous light of your salvation.  Please look upon our unsaved family.  We love them, and we long for them to find the peace and safety in your grasp.  Even now, wherever they are, touch them, draw them, call them from the scars of sin, blaze your light into their dark souls and give them hope.

Written by Barbara Bloom

May 15, 2009 at 2:44 PM