Life, learning and the spirit

Yesterday was just another ordinary day filled with ordinary details of work and home life.  But in the midst of that day there was one very unique fact.  Exactly 22 years ago yesterday I wrestled with God, and he won.  I emerged from my spare bedroom as a child of God, saved by the grace and mercy of our great God and King. 

That simple fact that I can point back to a specific date on the calander and say that this was the day that God broke through this hard heart and thick mind to save my soul from eternal damnation is surprising still, some 22 years later. 

I can also say that for 22 years I have been learning about my God, allowing his spirit to wash over me, and his word to scrub me clean.  Sometimes the learning has come easy with rapid spirts of significant change.  But that is not always true.   Growth these days is challenging, filled with deep disappointments, and stresses that have caused me to remember that my gaze must always remain on Jesus. 

Today, as I write this post I must confess that I have returned to the Lord over and over to ask him to rekindle the fires of my desire to obey him.  I have sometimes stopped after reading a verse that challenged my very soul and have confessed my sprit of rebellion.  And I have reminded Him that my life is not mine, but in his hands.  I am thankful to say my life is in his hands.

On this first day of my 23rd year of salvation I am beginning my new year asking Jesus to be near me.

Mighty Savior and King, Thank you for this gift of salvation you have given me.  Thank you for your love for me.  You alone hold our lives in your hands.  You are the author and finisher of this great faith you have bestowed upon me.  Please stir the fires of my soul for greater depth of knowlege of you, more resolved obedience to your word and spirit, and courage to live this faith in a way that you will use.  Life my gaze from the crumbling dust of this life, and turn my focus heavenward that I might know you more fully and sense your presence in greater ways each day.  Amen.